Wednesday, May 04, 2005

worst case scenario - Peak Oil America

Bio Fuels
According to the optimists:
We'll all be driving around in cars containing an enclosed vat of algae outgassing methane. 300mpg city, 500 mpg freeway.

According to the pessimists:
God will smite the ethanol corn fields with locusts and drought. "How do you like your energy return on energy invested now!" god will be heard to thunder.

What will REALLY happen:
After Peak Oil, everyone who lives in the American Southwest will take the train to Kansas and eat the corn before it is processed into hummer juice.


Nuclear Power
According to the optimists:
We will replace our energy infrastructure with 1,000 nuclear reactors. Dolphins will be trained to extract uranium from seawater.

According to the pessimists:
We'll run out of uranium after building 100 new reactors, and the dolphins will look at us blankly.

What will REALLY happen:
After Peak Oil, we'll be glad we still have electricity. But we'll be sad, because we won't have as much. Some people will be seen flying kites, as watching television will be too expensive.


Suburbia
According to the optimists:
If you think property values are high today, wait until 2020.

According to the pessimists:
If you think property values are high today, wait until 2020.

What will REALLY happen:
After Peak Oil, feral goats and pigs will inhabit houses which are too far from rivers, cities and farmable land. These toothsome critters will be hunted by youngsters undergoing their rite of passage into adulthood.


Wind Energy
According to the optimists:
We won't need this wind crap - we'll have 1000 nuclear reactors!

According to the pessimists:
We won't need this wind crap - we'll all be dead!

What will REALLY happen:
After Peak Oil, children will wait underneath wind turbines with large nets to catch decapitated birds. Dinner is served.


Die-Off
According to the optimists:
We will all die off, but have children.

According to the pessimists:
We will all die off, and our children with us.

What will REALLY happen:
Who the hell knows?



1 Comments:

At 11:26 AM, July 10, 2006, Blogger Juan Carlos said...

Hello,

may I translate this to Spanish and post it here:
http://www.crisisenergetica.org/forum/viewtopic.php?forum=3&showtopic=25669&onlytopic=&show=5&page=10&page=1

We are collecting jokes related to Peak Oil to use them for a awareness rising campaign.

Thank you.

 

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