buttered regrets

Japan's hunger becomes a dire warning for other nations
Japan's acute butter shortage, which has confounded bakeries, restaurants and now families across the country, is the latest unforeseen result of the global agricultural commodities crisis.
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While soaring food prices have triggered rioting among the starving millions of the third world, in wealthy Japan they have forced a pampered population to contemplate the shocking possibility of a long-term — perhaps permanent — reduction in the quality and quantity of its food.

Those pampered Japanese. Not that the rest of the western world is any different. There exists everywhere a lust for buttered goods. Why buy a cow? When the milk isn’t cheap. I’m no prognosticator, but I sense trouble on the horizon.

Short on butter, but not guns, the Japanese might choose to go to war to secure a supply. Recent history tells us this isn’t totally out of the question. And, butter is a vital part of any future fuel - - green wash the biodiesel, use food renewably squirted from a land whale and add a fatty richness to ones exhaust.

Anyone driving in the wake of such exhaust will become envious and hungry.

First, the Japanese hordes will come marching off their shores for the butter, then clotted cream. This will be followed by a quest for pure maple syrup, on account of the high sugar content which makes for a great ethanol blend. And you guessed it - - a pleasing aroma.

If one were a Japanese warm-monger in this thought experiment, one might really brighten the day of someone in Haiti, just by driving past them.

“What’s that delightful smell?” A Haitian child will ask, wiping the dirt off her lips as a Japanese convoy drives up.

Not comprehending the language, but graciously understanding, a Japanese soldier then gestures towards the back of his vehicle.

“Corn – Butter – Maple Syrup – Sugar Cane – French fry Grease – Grass. Why, we’ve got a little slice of God's green earth in our fuel tanks! Now which way are the Blue Mountains – we must secure a supply of coffee to keep our cows producing...”